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How to Fail at "ImmiGreating" in 10 Easy Steps.

Updated: Jul 20, 2023

Want to ensure that you never live your ImmiGreat dreams? I’ve put a failproof checklist together that, if followed, guarantees failure for immigrants, I swear. (FYI… we Africans take swearing very seriously, lol.)

1. Act entitled. Like life, everyone on the earth owes you a piggyback ride. That will surely make you get whatever you want.

2. Keep your mouth shut and never ask for help. Your wishes will be communicated mysteriously, and people will reach out without you being specific about your needs.

3. Only do things you’re 100% sure you’ll succeed at. Don’t make any moves if there’s a chance that you may fail.

4. Don’t have a plan, no short-term or long-term plans. Just live in the moment.

5. Do not take up any other interests. Stick with what you have always done. Never try new things.

6. Only make friends who look like you, have the same background, and like the same things.

7. Never throw your hat in the ring. Wait until they call you and stay silent until you get permission to speak.

8. Don’t diversify your Reading lists. Only read stories by people like you for people like you and in that vein.

9. Miss every opportunity to ask or take advice from others who have walked the path and won. Believe they have nothing to offer you, or you can find your way alone.

10. Ignore learning opportunities where you can be poured into or pour out to others.

Have I missed anything? I would love to know what you think about my failproof failure list.

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